When I read this I was so excited. One more excuse to eat chocolate. I love chocolate – milk chocolate. I am not a great fan of dark chocolate as it’s a little bit bitter for me. Unfortunately for me, it’s the dark chocolate that makes you lose weight as it reduces your appetite. And naturally, if you eat less, you lose weight. Apart from the anti-oxidant benefits, it also helps you lose weight. 

Well, may be I should develop a taste for dark choc. Atleast I can eat “chocolate” and feel good too.

 

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/Lifestyle/Fight_weight_battle_with_chocolates/articleshow/3823168.cms

I read an interesting article today about commitment in relationships. Apparently “Individuals with high levels of RCSE are very committed to their relationships, but they also find themselves… devastated when something goes wrong — even a relatively minor event”.

Now what is RCSE? When one or both partners place too much emotional weight on their relationship, they tend to evaluate their self-worth solely based on the outcomes of their romantic interactions. This is what psychologists call relationship-contingent self-esteem (RCSE).

Now, coming back to the statement above, I noticed it in certain relationships I know of. One person puts in a lot and when things go wrong, he/she gets upset that they didn’t get back enough or they are not appreciated enough. This hurts them more, when there is a breakup. If only they understood that they themselves are priority over others.

In a way, I have seen a similarity in relationship between parents and their children. A mother (or father) puts all her life into her kids expecting nothing back. Just like any mother, she expects everything to go very well with them. But this is life we are talking about and it doesn’t go as we expect. When kids leave her or when they are experiencing hardships, she goes into depression wondering why this happened to her kids. Instead, if she focused on her own happiness to at least certain extent, it wouldn’t depress her a lot. This could give her better understanding that life is not all about hardships, but surely her kids had/will_have fun times too.

Well, I have given this advice to a friend of mine a while back and she started spending some time on herself. She says she feels good when she does that as she is able to have fun on her own without affecting her time for her kids.

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/HealthSci/Dont_be_too_committed_in_romance/articleshow/3789635.cms

I know it’s been a while since I posted something. I am taking a break for a while. Probably for another month.

Have a great time everyone.

I’ve never met a person, I don’t care what his condition, in whom I could not see possibilities. I don’t care how much a man may consider himself a failure, I believe in him, for he can change the thing that is wrong in his life anytime he is prepared and ready to do it. Whenever he develops the desire, he can take away from his life the thing that is defeating it. The capacity for reformation and change lies within.
~Preston Bradley

I found this quote from an email I sent to a friend of mine a while back. I was adding this to my Quote section and I realized I like this a lot. There is so much insight into this. In a nutshell it says there is nothing impossible for a man to achieve if he puts his mind to it. It can be career or personal or anything.

The more I read it, the more I like it.

Ok. Here is one. Now don’t look too much into it. Just enjoy it.

A friend of mine once said he rides from home to office on his bike. I was shocked as it takes 40 mts by car and how long does it take to ride on a bike? He said he goes on his bike from home to the train station, catches the train, then he gets back on his bike from the station to work. Aha!!!

But then I “realized” I walk to work. When I told him that he was very impressed of course. He asked me how long does it take to walk these 2miles each way. I said 7 mts. I walk to my car, get on it and go to work, get off my car and then walk to my seat. So when you compare the analogy between his biking and my walking, I am walking to work right? He couldn’t help laughing.

When I think about this I can’t stop laughing too. I think it’s a good one

We all want to be associated with a winner. When we see one, we try hard to get his/her attention. We proudly announce to our friends/family about “knowing” this person. But if the same person loses everything, most of us stay away from that person. Suddenly all the “hidden” attributes of this person come into picture. And now we are proud to announce these “attributes” to the world. Why?

Why can’t we understand that winning and losing are just part of the game. They don’t reflect the personality of that person. And why do we associate success with money. If someone is financially successful, no matter how they have achieved it, we treat them with respect.

I had a friend who was successful once upon a time and was also perceived by some as future successful entrepreneur. Now once this person made a mistake, everyone not only abandoned this person, but anyone who be-friended him was considered to be either being naive/stupid or something else. And mind you, these are the same people who applauded this person once upon a time.

And none of his friends/family were there to support him when he actually needed it. Nor did they care to see if he was alive. And I know for sure they will all come back with success later. It could be just a matter of time.

At the same time I know someone who is successful financially, but has fundamental flaws in his personality. But people are proud to be associated with this person.

Why can’t we see a person as a person and not with his success/finances?

I am very sure all of you have seen such cases.

I am not sure how many of you listened to Michelle Obama’s speech at last night convention. She was amazing. She was very articulate and very clear on what she wanted to communicate. I don’t think I have ever listened to anything that was so motivating and inspirational. Here is what that stayed with me the most:

“And Barack and I were raised with so many of the same values: that you work hard for what you want in life; that your word is your bond and you do what you say you’re going to do; that you treat people with dignity and respect, even if you don’t know them, and even if you don’t agree with them.”

This defines you as a person. What I also liked more was her personality and the path she has chosen to make a difference in her community. She left lucrative jobs and worked in/with her community. This was an eye opener to me. You don’t need lot of money to make a difference in people’s lives. Of course an understanding and supporting partner would definitely help.

Why do people like to gossip? And why to an extent that it hurts others? And why don’t they care for other person’s feelings in that process? Is it because something is missing in their lives and they compensate for it by gossiping about others? Is it because they are hurt by someone and they like to do the same to others instead of being nice? I never understood this.

Is there something called ‘harmless gossip’? What is gossip anyway? Making malicious statements about others? Does it matter if it’s true or not? Can you talk about someone even if it’s true? Are we all so perfect that we can comment about someone else’s mistakes? Why do some people enjoy belittling others?

Well, this is the result of a weekend discussion with a friend of mine.

Say for example, no matter how much you want to be an engineer, if your father is against it, can you still study engineering?

Well, if you persist in wanting to be one, even if your father turns you out of the house, you can still find ways. According to J.K, “Life is strange. The moment you are very clear about what you want to do, things happen. Life comes to your aid – a friend, a relation, a teacher, somebody will help you. But if you are afraid to try because your father may turn you out, then you are lost. Life never comes to the aid of those who merely yield to some demand out of fear. “

If you are saying, “This is what I really want to do and I am going to pursue it,” then you will find that miracles take place. You may have to go hungry, struggle to get through, but you will be a worthwhile human being, not a mere copy and that is the miracle of it.

** Courtesy: “Think on these things” by Jiddu Krishnamurthy

In my childhood I was told this story where a child watches a spider go up the wall and keeps falling down. After umpteenth effort it succeeds. The motto is: keep trying and you will succeed. I strongly believe in this.

My brother asks me, don’t you ever get tired. No, I don’t. I don’t like saying No to anything unless I try it out first. Ofcourse, this goes against you sometimes as you fall flat when you don’t heed the advice of people based on their experience. Well, still I continue “trying” it out. I can “get up” after falling down though. But if you cannot: then just listen to others.

It’s fun. I can tell you that. Well, it all comes down to enjoying your life no matter what. Once you are capable of doing that, you will take everything in a stride in spite of ups and downs.